


You're music to my ears

by ElectricSiren6



Category: Homestuck
Genre: 2 many pesterlogs, Dancing around each other miraculous ladybug style, F/F, F/M, Humanstuck, M/M, Soulmates, babs in love, enjoy this self-indulgent shit parade, flufffffff, mostly because im bad at ACTUALLY writing, my amazing friend helped me with this : D
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-01
Updated: 2017-03-22
Packaged: 2018-09-25 21:57:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9847757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElectricSiren6/pseuds/ElectricSiren6
Summary: A soulmate AU where one can hear their soulmate's 'soul song'.College is a great time to find your soulmate, as literally everyone is realizing.





	1. Love is in the air?

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this is an idea me and my friend were talking about, and like,,, i had to write it. I'm sorry i'm not that good, but enjoy :D

“Every soul has a song-a series of chords and notes assigned to that person. The person's very essence-their being is reflected in their song. Soul songs are like snowflakes, they can be similar, but no two are exactly alike. By touching a person one can actually ‘hear’ their song-in a strange 'feel the notes' kind of way. Sometimes one can hear someone else's soul song out loud. This would mean the two were soulmates-destined for each other.” The teacher drones on in an uninterested tone.

You-being the huge sap you are, hang on every word coming out of the bland woman's mouth, despite having heard the whole soulmate exposition thousands of times. You internally congratulate yourself for choosing the best major and future career-lyromatology, also know as the study of soulmates. It has fascinated you since you were a child, and not a day goes by that you can't be found with your nose buried in a novel centered around romance and the mere concept of soulmates-something you had received plenty of teasing for in earlier years. Nowadays your friends have pretty much given up on steering you away from your disgustingly romantic tendencies, some of them have actually begun to come to you for advice. Just like every other day you quickly become lost in your thoughts, and the class is already practically over before you know it. Ah the life of a daydreamer.

You groan. Just what you needed, to zone out in what is undeniably your favorite and most important class. You'll have to ask someone what went on later. Your phone starts to go off beside you, playing the obnoxious ringtone you chose a few years back based solely on the fact that a friend told you it sounded kinda like your soul song. The screen reads ‘cape douche’ a title you've bestowed upon your needy, hipster roommate. There's also a picture of him holding his cape across his face Dracula style. What a dork. You quickly decline the call to silence the device only to see that this isn't the first time he's tried to call you today. The screen is filled with notifications from him on several messaging platforms.

caligulasAquarium [CA]  began pestering  carcinoGeneticist [CG]

CA: kar oh my shittin christ answwer your phone

CG: DO NOT TEST ME SHITLORD I AM *THIS* CLOSE TO SHREDDING YOUR OBNOXIOUSLY FLAMBOYANT SCARF COLLECTION.

CA: fuckin finally

CA: so i havve something to tell you

CA: its really important so dont go on one of your rants before Im able to finish

CG: NO PROMISES

CG: IF I HAPPEN TO DECIDE THAT THE IMPORTANCE OF YOUR PLIGHT IS EVEN A MINISCULE AMOUNT LOWER THAN THE RIVETING LECTURE IM CURRENTLY PUTTING MYSELF THROUGH THEN I HOLD FULL RIGHT TO RANTITUDE

CG: SERIOUSLY THOUGH JUST SPIT IT OUT ALREADY THE SUSPENSE IS 'KILLING' ME.

CG: THAT WAS SARCASM IF YOU COULDN’T TELL.

CA: vvery funny kar

CA: I think I might havve found my soulmate

CG: OH REALLY?

CG: AND HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I HEARD YOU SAY THAT BEFORE?

CA: i admit that I havve made some mistakes in the past but this time Im certain.

CA: that's wwhy i havve come to you

CA: evverybody knowws this shit is like your expertise or somethin

CA: so help me

CA: um please

CG: OKAY. FINE.

CG: NOW PLEASE ENLIGHTEN ME, WHO EXACTLY IS THE LUCKY INDIVIDUAL THAT HAS TO PUT UP WITH YOUR MELODRAMATIC BULLSHIT FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIFE?

CA: wwell you knoww that girl i havve been talking to ovver pesterchum?

CG: YOU MEAN FEFERI?

CA: yeah thank kan again for introducin me to her

CA: wwe met 'irl' for the first time earlier today

CA: I swwear it wwas so loud and pretty

CA: her song I mean

CA: not fef

CA: I mean she is pretty but not the loud part

CG: DUDE.

CG: YOU DONE?

CA: yeah uh so shes my soulmate

CG: WOW THAT’S ACTUALLY AMAZING.

CG: PARTLY BECAUSE SUCH A PRETTY AND KIND-HEARTED GIRL IS STUCK WITH AN ACTUAL PIECE OF FETUS SHIT LIKE YOU

CG: AND PARTLY BECAUSE YOU GUYS KNEW EACH OTHER FOR SO LONG WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING YOU WERE SOULMATES.

CG: IT'S EXACTLY THE KIND OF CRAZY 'IMPOSSIBLE' SITUATION THAT WOULD HAPPEN IN THE CHEESIEST OF SHITTY ROMCOMS

CA: I knoww right

CA: wwhere do wwe evven go from here

CG: HAVE YOU DISCUSSED IT WITH HER AT ALL YET?

CA: yeah wwe talked about it some

CA: it wwas awwkwward but I'm pretty sure she wwas excited about it too

CA: then again shes excited by pretty much evverythin

CG: WOW I’M STILL IN SHOCK THAT *YOU* OF ALL PEOPLE FOUND YOUR SOULMATE BEFORE ME.

CG: I GUESS THAT’S TO BE EXPECTED THOUGH, GIVEN HOW MUCH THE UNIVERSE HATES MY GUTS.

CA: im sure you wwill find them eventually kar

CG: SOME PEOPLE NEVER DO THOUGH

CG: AND AS A FAILURE ON EVERY LEVEL I FEEL LIKE IF ANYONE DOESN'T FIND THEIR SOULMATE I DESERVE FOR IT TO BE ME.

CG: OR IT WILL BE SOMEONE I DON'T EVEN LIKE, LIKE WHAT HAPPENED WITH TAVROS AND VRISKA.

CA: both of them managed to find lovve anywway though

CA: also as for you not deservving a soulmate

CA: I honestly dont knoww if anyone wwants or deservves it more than you.

CG: I DON’T DESERVE ANYTHING.

CG: EXCEPT MAYBE A GOOD PUNCH TO THE FACE.

CG: ANYWAY BYE

CA: bye

caligulasAquarium [CA]  ceased pestering  carcinoGeneticist [CG]

Always relationship drama with that guy, though you suppose this means the end of his whining, and you might be a little happy for him. Feferi was unexpected though. She's a happy go lucky idealist, and he’s a pessimistic loser with a stick so far up his ass it’s a wonder it isn’t poking through the top of his disgusting purple hipster hair. Despite that, their relationship is by far one of the least interesting romantic developments in your friend group.

You turn your thoughts toward the marriage invitation you recently received in the mail. Rose and Kanaya are the picture of perfect soulmates. Not only do they look gorgeous together, but they’ve had some of the greatest snark-offs in the history.

You didn't really know Rose in middle school but that's when her and Kanaya met. According to Kanaya it all started because Dave insisted on introducing the two after getting fed up with their flighty bullshit.

You've never actually talked to Dave despite your friendship with his sister and many other people you know to be close friends of his. You have been warned that you probably wouldn't like him though, so you're pretty content with steering clear of the guy.

You arrive at your empty dorm-you assume Eridan is busy trying to woo Feferi. You're just beginning to relax when you hear faint music coming from down the hallway. It sounding like a strange combination of swing music and dubstep. You don't think much of it at first- after all this is a college dorm, it's likely someone is just playing their music too loudly, it's when the same song continues for an hour that the panic sets in. You crack open your door to see if there's anyone in the hallway. Outside you spot a friend of yours-a small dark-skinned freshman known to many as ‘The Mayor’- skipping around cheerfully. “Hey Mayor! Do you hear that music?” You whisper cautiously, glancing nervously down the hall. The mayor- silent as ever- shakes his head no. You feel your heart rate start to pick up, and a blush rises to your face. This is the moment you've been waiting for your entire life. Your soulmate is somewhere in this building...the boy’s dorm. You're a little surprised by that, but you suppose it doesn't really matter. What does matter is true love, and the fact that it's within your reach. You suddenly feel out of breath, and a little shaky. “I- I'm not ready.” You throw your arms out in exasperation. The mayor pets your arm gently. The understanding look on his little face melts away all stress. You feel a little better. The mayor never fails to calm you down. You take a deep breath. “Thank you mayor. I'll...deal with this later. I guess for now I just need to calm down and take a nap or something.” You pet the mayor affectionately. He nods, gently pushing you back towards your room. Once you’re inside, the mayor gives a little wave and skips away. 

You lie down, struggling to sleep despite the music plaguing your conscious. When you finally do get to sleep, you're awoken almost immediately when the music begins to get louder and then fades out.

You freeze. Your soulmate just passed your door. That thought alone makes your face warm.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering  caligulasAquarium [CA] 

CG: HEY ASSMUNCH.

CG: YOU’VE BEEN GETTING TO HARASS ME WITH YOUR PROBLEMS FOR YEARS

CG: NOW IT’S YOUR TURN TO LISTEN.

CA: um okay

CA: wwhat happened

CG: WELL I HEARD MY SOULMATE’S SONG TODAY.

CG: SO I GUESS THE UNIVERSE HAS DECIDED TO TAKE PITY ON POOR OLD KARKAT FOR ONCE

CG: THOUGH I DIDN'T EVEN SEE THEM

CG: ALSO IT WAS COMING FROM DOWN THE HALL...IN THE BOY’S DORM.

CA: oh

CA: oh shit kar

CA: this is great

CA: congrats

CG: GREAT?!?

CG: I’M COMPLETELY FLIPPING MY SHIT HERE. MY SHIT IS SO FLIPPED, IT'S BEGINNING TO RESEMBLE THE DISMAL REMAINS OF A PINEAPPLE UPSIDE-DOWN CAKE, VICTIM TO THE FLIPPING OF A TABLE.

CG: I DON’T FEEL READY FOR THIS AT ALL!

CG: I *STILL* DON’T EVEN ACTUALLY KNOW WHO THEY ARE!

CA: okay first of all calm your shit

CA: youre being ovverdramatic

CG: DID *YOU* REALLY JUST CALL *ME* OVERDRAMATIC!?!?

CA: it is one of the feww things wwe havve in common

CG: I HAVE *NOTHING* IN COMMON WITH YOU

CG: I MAY BE AN ASSHOLE, BUT I COULD NEVER EVEN HOPE TO REACH YOUR LEVELS OF POMPOUS DICKITRY.

CG: NOT IN MY WILDEST DREAMS COULD I EVEN BEGIN TO SCRATCH THE SURFACE OF WHAT IT TAKES TO HAVE AN EGO AS BIG AS YOURS.

CA: wwoww chill wwith the flattery kar

CA: im taken remember

CG: I’M NOT FLIRTING WITH YOU, YOU FESTERING ASS PIMPLE.

CG: I SWEAR I DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW SOMEONE CAN BE SO SELF-CENTERED AND THICK THAT THEY TAKE AN INSULT AS FLIRTING.

CA: im thick in all the wways that matter ;)

carcinoGeneticist [CG] blocked  caligulasAquarium [CA] 

CA: wwait shit that wwas a joke

CA: I knoww i flirt a lot but jesus fuckin christ cant a guy make a joke

You sigh. That guy really is something. Something being the worst piece of trash to ever walk the Earth. Regardless, he is one of your best friends. Your phone starts to go off again. This time the messages are from a unfamiliar chumhandle.

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering  carcinoGeneticist [CG]

TG: yo

TG: this is karkat right

TG: i would not put it past rose to give me the wrong chumhandle on purpose

TG: anyway yeah this is dave

TG: apparently we go to the same college or something

TG: and everyones been harassing me to talk to you and shit

TG: all “ooooh this is your chance to finally meet karkat! you guys will be such good friends! best bros in the history of broship right there”

TG: that was the abridged version of what jade said btw

TG: also nepeta is like determined to get me to talk to you

TG: weird

TG: yo anybody home or am i just talking into the void

TG: otherwise known as cyber space

TG: woah john must be rubbing off on me

TG: *john egbert voice* cyber space

CG: GOOD GOD.

CG: I’VE HEARD YOU’RE LONG-WINDED, BUT THIS IS RIDICULOUS!

CG: DOES IT HURT TO VOMIT THAT MUCH WORD DRIVEL ALL AT ONCE?

CG: AND WHY THE EVER-LOVING FUCK DO YOU TYPE IN SUCH AN OBNOXIOUS RED?

TG: some say obnoxious

TG: i say cool as shit

TG: fuck the haters

CG: I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO RESPOND TO THAT.

CG: I’M JUST IN COMPLETE SHOCK RIGHT NOW.

CG: HOW IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE FOR YOU TO BE A BIGGER TOOL THAN ERIDAN?

TG: you wound me

TG: I thought we were going to be friends

TG: bros

TG: together in holy matribrony

TG: shit ew nevermind

TG: brony no

TG: seriously though

TG: how could you compare me to eridan

TG: i feel so disgusting karkat

CG: OH.

CG: MY.

CG: GOD.

CG: DO YOU EVER SHUT UP?

TG: according to several sources the answer is no

TG: though if you give the hobo behind dennys a blowjob he might be willing to give you some different information

TG: top secret shit

CG: EW.

TG: dont knock it till you try it

TG: hobo dong could be great

TG: It could be like the drink of the gods

TG: but no one would know

TG: because no one is willing to try it

CG: IF YOU HAVE SO MUCH FAITH IN HOBO DICK HOLDING SOME KIND OF HOLY NECTAR, WHY DON’T YOU GO SUCK ONE OFF YOURSELF?

TG: nah man that ain’t me

TG: not interested

CG: THEN STOP TALKING ABOUT IT!

CG: BACK ON TOPIC.

CG: YOU MENTIONED GOING TO THE SAME COLLEGE AS ME?

TG: yeah

TG: rose john and jade were all worried about me not having friends or something

TG: so yeah they totally dumped me off on you

TG: congratulations your very own strider to fill your phone with notifications and make you feel popular

CG: STAY ON TRACK NIMROD.

CG: IF YOU REALLY WANT TO BE FRIENDS SHOULDN’T WE GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER OR SOMETHING?

CG: LIKE…

CG: WHAT ARE YOU STUDYING ANYWAY?

TG: ohhh 20 questions style

TG: like were in fucking elementary school

TG: elementary was the shit

TG: i can dig it

TG: major in paleontology

TG: minor in photography

TG: you??

CG: MAJOR IN LYROMATOLOGY, MINOR IN PSYCHOLOGY.

The conversation with Dave went on for several hours with both of you going back and forth asking questions. You found him much more tolerable than your friends made him sound, though he still strikes you as a total prick.

You realize it's now midnight and nearly completely flip your shit for the second time today. You were supposed to be working on something and you have a class early the next morning. However, You DO completely flip your shit when the music returns. It once again grows louder right outside your door, and then fades away. Now you can just barely hear it. You mentally pat yourself on the back for not running out there after the poor guy. How awkward would that be. What would you even say? ‘Um hi I'm your soulmate I guess? Get ready to be in love.’ Besides you've always been told that meeting your soulmate is the best when you just wait patiently and let it happen. 

You drift to sleep, the faint notes haunting you even in your dreams.


	2. Oh no he's hot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god all of the comments you people have left are so nice. I'm. So. Happy. Thank you all!!

Your name is Dave Strider, and you are kind of completely freaked out. In a cool not at all actually panicked kind of way of course. You didn't sleep a wink last night. You were too restless-why? Maybe because your soulmate is in this very building with you right now? You actually had to go outside to get fresh air at one point last night just to calm your nerves. You also totally walked right past his room. That's right “his”. That part scares you the most. You've always shown interest in girls, never have you even considered liking a guy, and yet here you are apparently fated to be with one. If you had gotten something like this about yourself wrong, what else don’t you know? What if everything else you know about yourself is bull too? What if-you pause to breathe. Existential crisis’ are not part of the coolkid package.  
You're admittedly terrified, and you don't feel prepared for this kind of commitment. You're not even old enough to legally drink yet! What if-holy hell you never thought you would think this- he doesn't like you? What if you don't like him-a fact you already find likely?  
You've honestly never put much stock in the soulmate crap, and you're not totally against ditching it altogether, but how depressing would that be-having to live the rest of your life knowing you weren't even compatible with the person who's literally your SOULMATE? You shake your head. No, you're going to give this a chance.  
You're in the middle of contemplating how exactly to go about initiating a conversation with this person when your roommate and best friend in the entire fucking planet strolls in.  
“Oh hey mayor. How was your class?”  
The mute shrugs. You take that as meaning it was nothing special. “Speaking of i’ve gotta get going for a class pretty soon.” The mayor nods. You briefly contemplate telling the mayor about your recent problems, but you don't really want to worry the little guy. You know he’ll give you shit for it later if you don't tell him now though, and by shit you mean a disapproving look that makes your heart melt. On second thought maybe you should tell him. “Hey um before I go. This is crazy, but I totally heard music all last night. It was the same song. The whole time, you uh...know where I'm going with this, right?” The mayor pauses, he looks deep in thought for a moment before his lips curl into a sly smile. On anyone else it might’ve looked menacing, but on the mayor it was just kind of adorable. “What's that look about?” You ask, letting out a little chuckle. He just nods and pats your leg. Huh. You have no idea what that means. “Okay then be all cryptic. I've gotta go to class.” You give the mayor a fistbump and leave to your only class of the day.  
The walk from the dorms to the science building is always a laborious task as they are on completely opposite ends of the campus. You guess you really shouldn't complain though-it keeps you fit. You stop. There it is again. That fucking song. You just can't escape it! The music feels caring overall like the gentle caress of a loving mother, but the higher notes send surges of fiery anger through your body. It's like an itch that won't go away no matter how much you scratch. Ugh. The fucking itch-you want to get your eardrums surgically removed. You begin to wonder who it's coming from. It's a guy-you've already established that, but which one? It's so crowded outside there's no way of knowing. You study the face of every guy in the immediate area. Him? Or maybe him? What if it's him? You really hope it's not him. What i-holy hell. You lock eyes with some guy across the green-well your signature tinted eyewear kind of prevent that from being completely true, but that's beside the point. You honest to God think your heart stopped for a second. He's so tiny his baggy sweatpants and sweater look more like some kind of tent than clothes. He has messy dark hair that frames his rounded, caramel-colored face. Are you having heart palpitations? Is that normal? You suddenly aren't too worried about your soulmate being a guy. You realize he's not looking at you, but rather scanning the area with narrowed eyes, perhaps looking for something. You feel a little relieved at that, but also kind of disappointed? What are you a twelve-year old girl getting ready to slip a sweet note on Valentine's Day? This. Is. Stupid.  
You charge forward, continuing towards the science building. You briefly marvel in the fact that the song gets louder when you pass the messy-haired guy. You also can't help but smile a bit when you feel a pair of eyes watching you as you walk away.  
You always find it completely impossible to pay attention in class. The teachers voice feels so dull, it gives you a painfully bored feeling, sometimes even verging on severely uncomfortable. You decide you might as well contact your ‘dear’ sister and personal psychologist for help as well as a distraction from this stupid class  
  


turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering  tentacleTherapist [TT] at 13:51

TG: rose

TG: I may have encountered an issue

TT: Oh?

TT: You’re asking me for help?

TT: Well, I knew you’d come around eventually, but what ,pray tell, prompted this change of heart?

TG: nope totally not asking for help

TG: I'm just

TG: looking for input

TG: yea input

TG: that doesnt mean me confiding in you and basically letting you practice your therapy shit is a regular thing now

TT: Of course not. I wouldn’t make an assumption like that given your past...concerns with my psycho analyzations.

TG: CONCERNS??

TG: HAHAHA

TT: This is precisely why I'd like to get a more thorough analysis.

TG: goddammit rose there's nothing wrong with me

TG: back to my problem though

TG: music all night

TG: all night rose

TG: all FUCKING night

TG: I was locked in an elevator with the most hauntingly awful music

TT: Music? Of what kind?

TG: ONE SONG

TG: ALL NIGHT

TT: Oh. Congratulations?

TG: see that's just it

TG: it was in my dorm meaning I'm destined to a life of serving the dick

TG: female tears will be shed around the world

TG: also i totally walked past him today and hot damn

TG: I feel like a high school girl in an ABC family romcom

TT: Him. I wish I could say that was unexpected.

TT: I think you need to calm down a bit.

TT: This is supposed to be a good thing.

TG: obviously

TG: I know that

TG: but I still have no idea what to do

TG: how do you even uh

TG: talk to guys like flirt with them

TG: why am I asking you this

TG: you wouldnt even know

TT: It's true. That's one of the few areas my expertise doesn't cover.

TT: Though, I could try to offer some advice if you’re willing to hear it?

TG: it couldnt hurt

TG: there are worse consultants I could go to

TT: My advice is simple enough that even you couldn't possibly mess it up-be yourself. I personally think you are quite endearing...in your own way.

TG: wow rose

TG: thats gotta be the nicest thing youve ever said to me

TG: im tearing up over here

TG: somebody get me a goddamn handkerchief

TT: That. That right there. Don’t stop doing that. 

TG: you mean running my mouth

TG: embarrassing myself

TG: and being an annoying shit

TT: It’s much more attractive than you think. Relatability is endearing, and nothing is more relatable than making a fool of yourself.

TG: wow

TG: i

TG: i dont know why I asked you for help

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering  tentacleTherapist [TT] at 14:25

This whole situation feels kind of like the beginning to a shitty romantic comedy, and you aren't completely sure how you feel about that. You've been staying at the dorm for one night, and already you've found your soulmate, and he is a guy. It's like the universe was like “hey haven’t messed with that Strider kid in awhile, it's about time to throw him a curveball. Let's make it a big one.” You sigh. You only got to see him briefly but damn. He was pretty cute. You can't help but wonder what he's like. What is he studying? How old is he? What's his name? His birthday? You find yourself wanting to know everything about him. It's an odd feeling. You haven't even spoken to the guy yet, and you already feel way too invested.

Your phone starts to buzz. You smile when you see who it is-TZ, your number one gal.

gallowsCalibrator [GC] began pestering  turntechGodhead [TG] at 14:39

GC: COOLK1D GU3SS WH4T

TG: what

GC: 1 S41D GU3SS :]

TG: shit tz i dunno

TG: you finally got over your weird dragon fetish??

GC: 1TS NOT 4 F3T1SH 1 JUST H4PP3N TO F1ND DR4GONS V3RY COOL 4ND M4J3ST1C.

GC: 4LSO YOU 4R3 4 V3RY SH1TTY GU3SS3R :[

GC: 1 H4V3 4 D4T3 TON1GHT W1TH 4 V3RY CUT3 FR13ND OF OURS

TG: oh really now

TG: guess someone was finally able to snag that tall glass of red cool-aid that is terezi pyrope

GC: H3H3H3

GC: Y3S, N3P3T4 H4S M4N4G3D TO W4RM MY COLD R3PT1LL14N H34RT :]

TG: whoa nep??

GC: Y3S W3LL SH3 1S QU1T3 TH3 CH4RM3R

GC: SH3 1S 4LSO CONV1NC3D TH4T W3 4R3 SOULM4T3S

GC: 4ND 1 COULDNT 4GR33 MOR3 :]

TG: thats great and all

TG: Im sure you guys could be the next queen latifah and jeanette jenkins

TG: but what if shes wrong

TG: about you two being soulmates I mean

GC: 1 TRUST H3R

GC: B3S1D3S WH3N H4S N3P3T4 3V3R B33N WRONG 4BOUT TH1S K1ND OF TH1NG?

TG: um you do realize she ships me and karkat

TG: thats just about as wrong as you can get

TG: I mean I've only met the guy once

TG: not even in person

TG: shit was like some weird dating sim where the two in the game realize theyre shipped but don't agree

GC: R34LLY

GC: H3R 4ND 1 N33D TO H4V3 4 T4LK 4BOUT TH3 D4NG3RS OF CR4CK SH1PS

TG: lmao

TG: please do

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering  gallowsCalibrator [GC] at 14:56

It's always off-putting talking to TZ. Her ability to read and type despite her lack of vision never ceases to amaze you, though she has explained it to you before. Synesthesia, it's a condition that connects senses in ways that someone without it would have trouble understanding. You have synesthesia yourself, though of a very different type. Terezi can taste and smell colors, which explains how she is able to differentiate the words on the screen from the white of the background, and how she is able to read the white letters on the black keys.

Your class is finally over, and you have no fucking idea what you were supposed to have learned, but what else is new.

You're more than a little worried about the whole Neprezi situation. They’re both nice girls, and good friends of yours, the last thing you want is for them to hurt each other. Now that you think about it, you probably should've contacted Nep for advice, not Rose. What the hell were you thinking-trying to get help from one of the flightiest broads in existence? Completely ridiculous.

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering  arsenicCatnip [AC] at 15:13

TG: yo nep

AC: :3< *ac wiggles her butt a little and purrpares to pounce on the coolcat*

TG: he tells her again that hes way too cool for roleplay

TG: and asks her to be serious cause hes about to lay down some serious shit

AC: :3< h33 h33 okay!

TG: um

TG: i found my soulmate

TG: i totally saw him

TG: only for a second though

TG: i froze up faster than a bear trap on yogi

TG: little shit always stealing food

AC: :O< this is amazing mews dave!

AC: :/< i think you should just walk right up and say something ridiculous and spontaneous like you normally would

AC: :3< purrsonally I think that will work well!

AC: X3< youre a purrty amewsing guy and humor is always the way to capture a heart in my opurrnion!

TG: oh

TG: thanks nep

TG: you think I'm funny??

AC: :O< of course I do! Youre one of the funniest people I know!

TG: wow

TG: wait to make a guy blush nep

TG: thats it my confidence is through the roof

TG: Imma stride right up and start a conversation with him

TG: captivate him with my mindless rambling

AC: X3< go dave go!

AC: :O< oh and befur I furget if you need more help you could always talk to karcat! Hes purrtty good with romance too, and its possible he knows your soulmate!!

AC: :O< after all he does go there too!

TG: valid points nep but im not sure about asking karkat

TG: i barely know the guy and it seems kinda inappropriate and awkward to dump my relationship shit on him

AC: :/< believe me hes used to it

AC: X3< also he secretly really loves helping people with that kind of thing!

TG: ill think about it

TG: bye nep

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering  arsenicCatnip [AC] at 15:29

You aren't actually going to confront your soulmate, or ask Karkat for help. You'd feel super awkward doing either, and you're certain you're not ready to meet your soulmate yet anyway. That shit just seems so adult, and you don't want to throw away your youth. You're going to hang onto your youth like it's a motherfucking life raft. Shit is keeping you afloat out in the ocean known as the real world.

You look up to find yourself back at the dorms. The first thing you notice is the lack of music. You let out a sigh of relief. You're grateful for the quiet, and hopefully you can actually get some sleep today.  
You take a fuckin’ sip of some aj, lie down and find that you cannot. fucking. sleep. This is not abnormal for you at all. In fact you rarely ever get a full night of sleep. It's really not that big a deal you guess, but you were kind of hoping to get some sweet sweet shut-eye tonight. 

Oh wait. What was it you said to Karkat last night about filling his phone with notifications. A mischievous grin slowly spreads across your face. This is so immature, but you do not give a single fuck. Time to wreck his life.

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering  carcinoGeneticist [CG]  at 21:35

TG: yo 

TG: check it 

You proceeded to spam your new friend with what is undeniably your greatest rap session ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
> I feel like there are lots of typos in this one, feel free to tell me if there are.


	3. A strange Encounter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who leaves kudos on this-I really appreciate it!! :D
> 
>  
> 
> I don't feel satisfied with the way this chapter turned out, but I realized I wouldn't be satisfied until it was perfect and well it will never be perfect so here it is!!

You cannot believe the amount of spam you woke up to this morning. Last night you were at some shitty party Eridan dragged you to, so you weren’t checking your phone,but when you woke up on the floor sporting a massive headache, you turned on the too bright device just to scroll through hours of mindless babble all in that blinding, bright red. You’re going to kill that smug piece of shit for making you read all of that. You’re also going to kill whoever handed you that glass of ‘punch’ last night.  
Speaking of killing, your head is still killing you, and so is all this soulmate business. It can't go on much longer. Not knowing is going to drive you completely crazy. You caught a glimpse of him yesterday. Although it was just the back of his head. So. Fucking. Blonde. You sigh and flop back onto your bed.  
“Wwhat’s wrong wwith you kar?” Eridan asks as he straightens his ‘formal’ scarf.  
“What the fuck do you think? I can’t escape this stupid song!” You sit up so fast, you nearly fall off your bed. It wouldn't be the first time this week.  
“Geez wwhy don’t you just go talk to him? Wwon’t that make ewerythin’ so much easier?”  
“Easier said than done, dickweed.”  
“I knoww it'll be awwkwward at first, but isn't it like that for eweryone? You'll be fine, Kar.”  
You sigh. “I’ll try tomorrow.” He raises an eyebrow skeptically, obviously not buying your bullshit, but for once he doesn't say anything. “Have fun on your date, fish breath!” You waggle your eyebrows at him.  
“Oh my god kar stop.” He laughs, wiping away a fake tear at your childish display. His laughter fades as his lips curl into a mischievous smirk.“You hawe fun listenin’ to your mystery man’s song.” He fires back. He salutes you and slips out the door before you can yell at him.  
“Goddammit.” You mutter. You are so getting him back la-holy crap. Your phone alarm just went off at full blast. God which idiot is it this time? They seem to be bugging you even more than usual lately. Bugging and fussing and meddling. You’re relieved to see it is one of your closest and most intelligent friends.

grimAuxilatrix [GA]  began pestering  carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 11:29 

GA: Karkat It Has Been Brought To My Attention That You Have Been Dealing With Something Lately 

GA: And For Some Reason You Have Neglected To Confide In Me 

GA: Would You Like To Talk 

CG: ALRIGHT ‘MOM’ WHICH ONE OF THOSE ASSLICKS TOLD YOU? 

CG: ERIDAN, RIGHT? 

GA: Well 

GA: Yes 

GA: Not That That Actually Matters 

GA: What Does Matter Is What Is Going On With You 

GA: He Did Not Actually Tell Me What It Was 

GA: Just That You Were “bein a wwhiny bitch and beyond annoyin’” From Eridan That Could Mean Pretty Much Anything So 

GA: Care To Tell Me What Is The Matter 

CG: UM. 

CG: WELL I WASN’T GOING TO WORRY YOU WITH MY PROBLEMS UNTIL AFTER THE WEDDING. 

CG: SO… 

CG: JUST DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT. 

CG: GO ENJOY SOME TIME WITH ROSE OR SOMETHING. 

CG: YOUR BIG DAY IS NEXT SATURDAY AFTER ALL! 

GA: Oh Yes 

GA: Speaking Of I Know You Have Not Bothered To Get A Suit Yet 

GA: So I Have Done It For You 

GA: You Just Need To Try It On 

GA: It Is On Hold At My Sisters Formalwear Store 

CG: YOU GOT ME A SUIT?? 

CG: WASN’T THAT EXPENSIVE? 

CG: SERIOUSLY KANAYA HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU NOT TO WASTE YOUR MONEY ON MY SORRY ASS? 

GA: Your Brother Insisted On Paying For It Actually 

CG: OH GREAT. I’LL NEVER HEAR THE END OF THIS. 

GA: I Am Afraid Not 

GA: I Do Suggest You Go Get It Tonight 

GA: I Am Unsure How Long It Will Remain On Hold With Gamzee Working There 

CG: YOUR SISTER HIRED GAMZEE? 

GA: I Do Not Understand It Either 

GA: Apparently He Has Some Sort Of Knack For Choosing The Perfect Suit For Each Customer 

GA: The Customers Love Him 

GA: And He Is A Delight To Work With According To My Sister 

CG: AT LEAST HE’S FINALLY MAKING HIMSELF USEFUL 

GA: I Suppose That Is One Way Of Looking At It 

GA: I Have To Go 

GA: But This Does Not Mean I Will Not Be Back Later To Question You About Your ‘Deal’ Again 

grimAuxilatrix [GA]  ceased pestering  carcinoGeneticist [CG]]  at 12:01 

Well now you've got that to look forward to. Kanaya is undoubtedly your best friend, and normally you'd tell her everything, but you know how overbearing she can be. You'd really rather not have her up your ass about talking to him when she needs to be focused on her own wedding.  
You look at your watch. It's only twelve, and you have no classes today. No better time than the present you suppose. You pull on your jacket, and grab your keys.  
Porrim’s store isn't too far from your college. It's a quaint little place with a pretty limited selection-that doesn't stop it from being one of the most popular formalwear stores around. The suits and dresses were all handmade by Porrim herself, and Gamzee’s tailoring abilities and impeccable ability to match a person with their perfect suit or dress had apparently attracted a lot of attention recently.  
When you walk in you're almost overwhelmed by how loud the music in the store is. Gamzee is lying facedown on the counter, light snoring coming from the mass of tangles he calls hair. He seems to be the only one working today, which would explain the deafening, trashy music.  
“Hey Gamzee.” You greet. He sits up quickly, hitting his head on a low-hanging light. His juggalo paint is slightly smeared. The expensive-looking glass countertop is also smeared with the offending substance.You sigh. Why the hell does Porrim lets him wear his face paint and ICP gear to work?  
His lips part in a toothy grin. “Karkat! What brings a brother into this fancy motherfucking establishment?”  
“Kanaya put a suit on hold for me. You still have it, right?”  
“Oh yeah she came in here all up and hurried and shit and asked me to pick you out a suit.” He walks behind the counter and pulls out a black suit from a rack labeled ‘on hold’. It's checkered on the inside, and looks to be exactly your size. “It's right here bro.”  
“Oh it's pretty nice. Dammit this must've been so expensive. Kankri is never going to let me live this down.”  
“Don't worry about him, bro. I told him I would pay for it. I also tailored the shit outta it for you,” He glances around suspiciously and leans in. “I also added a pocket on the inside, it’s just the right size for a sweet bottle of the wicked elixir. Just in case you wanna kick the shit during the ceremony.”  
You choose not to question the Faygo bit in favor of asking more important questions.“Gamzee YOU payed for it?! How did you even convince him to let you pay?? How did you even know my measurements?”  
“I can be pretty convincing.” A dark look flashes through his eyes briefly. “As for the measurements the messiahs have blessed me with a gift- A grand miracle that lets me help people be all nicely dressed.” He smiles lazily. Gamzee’s impeccable faith that the members of ICP are some sort of clown gods never ceases to amaze you. You wrap your arms around his practically nonexistent waist, and on contact you’re surrounded by the soothingly whimsical, and hauntingly dark notes that make up Gamzee’s song.  
“Thank you, Gamzee.”  
“Anything for my best motherfucking bro.”  
You spot a line of changing rooms in the back of the store. You reluctantly remove your face from Gamzee's ICP shirt, and let go.  
“I'm going to go try it on.” You point over your shoulder. He gives a slight nod, and goes back to zoning out at the front counter.  
As you approach the changing rooms, a realization hits you. Underneath the store’s obnoxiously loud rap music there's another song. A familiar one, and it gets louder as you approach the changing rooms.  
You steel your nerves and enter one of the stalls anyway. A few minutes later you exit the stall, and take your place in front of one of the mirrors. Damn. Gamzee is good at this. You almost don’t look like complete trash for once. The suit hugs your small frame perfectly. You never accredit yourself with having any good features, but if you did have any this suit would accentuate them all perfectly. In the mirror you see a stall behind you open. He walks out in a bright red suit, sees you, momentarily freezes, and then slowly walks backwards into the stall.  
“Wait just a motherfucking second! Are you seriously going to run away from this?!”  
“Nope. Nope. Nope. Not today. The train has left the station. Out for lunch, come back later. Your princess is in another castle. These aren't the droids you're looking for.”  
“Oh my fucking god. This is bullshit, get your ass out here and face the fucking music.” Literally.  
“See I would except I really don't wanna deal with this today,” A pause. “See you later?”  
You roll your eyes. What the fuck does he mean ‘see you later?’. Your soulmates-literally made for each other? “Duh.”  
Another pause. “By the way you um...look nice?”  
Oh. That was unexpected. You feel a heat rising up the back of your neck.  
“Oh...you too.” You abscond the fuck out of there before things can get even more awkward.  
“Thanks again Gamzee. It fits great.” He waves lazily.  
You hear a conversation starting up as you leave.  
“You’re so motherfucking lucky you know Porrim. We don’t usually serve your kind here.” You hear Gamzee say.  
“My kind?” Oh. him.  
“Hipsters.” Gamzee snarls. It’s the most menacing you’ve ever heard him sound. The door behind you gently closes, cutting you off from the rest of the conversation.  
That was pretty weird. You knew Gamzee had a bit of a dark side, but damn he sounded so uncharacteristically angry! Since when did he hate hipsters anyway? You can’t help but feel like this day has quickly gone from zero to sixty and nothing really makes sense anymore.  


turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering  carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 12:35 

TG: so 

TG: this is really stupid 

TG: i need some advice and nepeta told me to talk to you 

TG: its a romance thing 

CG: WOAH, WOAH, WOAH. NEPETA TOLD YOU TO ASK ME FOR HELP RATHER THAN HELPING YOU HERSELF? 

CG: IT’S OFFICIAL THE CRAZY SWITCH HAS BEEN FLIPPED, NOT UNLIKE MY SHIT, AND NOW EVERYONE HAS GONE COMPLETELY BATSHIT INSANE. 

TG: she tried to help 

TG: but like 

TG: she said if i needed more help i should talk to you 

TG: and i definitely need more help 

CG: WHAT IS IT THEN? 

CG: IT BETTER BE GOOD, I'M A BUSY GUY AND KNOWING YOU FOR EXACTLY THREE DAYS DOESN'T EXACTLY PERMIT YOU ACCESS TO THE VAST STORE OF ROMANTIC KNOWLEDGE I HAVE ON HAND. 

TG: um so like i said the other day 

TG: i just started staying in the dorms 

TG: before i was just kinda driving to school everyday from rose and kanayas apartment 

TG: as soon as i started staying in the boys dorm i started hearing music 

TG: the same song all the time and im not really sure what to do 

Your heart is beating a mile a minute. What if…? No that’s impossible. There’s no way in hell you and Dave are soulmates. It’s just a hilarious coincidence you can laugh about in ten or so years, right? 

CG: AMAZINGLY ENOUGH, I’M KIND OF IN THE EXACT SAME BOAT RIGHT NOW. 

CG: I’VE ALSO BEEN HEARING MUSIC IN THE BOY’S DORM. 

TG: wow 

TG: we should totally start a club 

TG: the “thought i was straight, but my soulmate apparently has a dick” club 

TG: catchy 

TG: well serve dick shaped chocolate chip cookies 

TG: except theyre raisi 

TG: raisin cookies are real life clickbait 

TG: posing as something great but then you take a bite and your like 

TG: wheres the quality content i was promised 

TG: why am i here 

TG: eating this shit 

CG: I NEVER SAID I THOUGHT I WAS STRAIGHT. 

TG: oh 

TG: i uh 

TG: sorry 

CG: WHAT THE FUCK ARE *YOU* APOLOGIZING FOR? YOU’RE THE ONE THAT GOT YOUR SEXUALITY RIPPED TO SHREDS. 

TG: yep 

TG: its completely in tatters 

TG: ripped apart like any movie rottentomatoes gets their grubby little critic hands on 

TG: took one look at that boy and it was history 

TG: seriously ive seen him like what twice 

TG: but hes fine karkat like damn 

See there’s no way in hell he’s talking about you. You let out a relieved sigh.

TG: totally made a fool of myself today though 

CG: WHAT DID YOU DO? 

TG: what i always do 

TG: talked 

TG: a lot 

TG: about nothing 

CG: IT COULDN’T HAVE BEEN THAT BAD? 

CG: AND I’M SURE IF YOU TWO ARE REALLY “DESTINED FOR EACH OTHER” AND ALL THAT SAPPY BULLSHIT, HE DOESN’T CARE? 

CG: OR EVEN FINDS YOUR BULLSHIT ATTRACTIVE? 

TG: okay people keep telling me this 

TG: but like 

TG: how do you find the shit that i say attractive 

TG: like you said its just drivel 

CG: OKAY STOP 

CG: YOU’RE STARTING TO SOUND LIKE ME 

CG: SELF-PITYING AND PATHETIC 

TG: shit man 

TG: better clean up my act can't have you thinking I'm some sappy nerd or anything 

CG: DAMMIT DAVE THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT 

CG: LOOK JUST TALK TO HIM, AND YEA I KNOW YOU'VE HEARD THAT FROM EVERY SOURCE WITH A BRAIN 

CG: MAYBE YOU'VE HEARD IT SO MUCH BECAUSE IT'S GENERALLY GOOD ADVICE THAT YOUR BACKWARDS ASS HIPSTER SELF SHOULD LISTEN TO 

TG: wow man second time today someones called me that 

TG: not a backwards ass but a hipster 

TG: ive been called a hipster twice and compared to eridan 

TG: my life is going down a dark path 

TG: i need to shape my shit up 

TG: or ill never get into the college of my dreams 

TG: if i don’t go to that college senpai will never even turn his plush cheeks in my direction 

TG: much less his kawaii ass face 

TG: oh senpai i have failed you 

CG: WHAT? 

TG: what 

CG: SOMETIMES YOU GET SO OFF-TRACK, AND SO DEEP INTO YOUR DELUDED ‘METAPHORS’ 

CG: IF YOU CAN EVEN CALL THEM THAT 

CG:YOUR RANTING VERGES ON ROLEPLAY 

CG: IT’S ACTUALLY PRETTY AMUSING HOW HARD YOU TRY TO KEEP UP YOUR COOLKID PERSONA WHILST TEARING IT DOWN WITH YOUR OWN DORKY SPIELS 

TG: thank you so much for that analysis of my psyche 

TG: im totally not used to hearing shit like this all the time from my sister 

CG: IT WASN’T AN ANALYSIS. 

CG: JUST A FEW OBSERVATIONS. 

CG: I’M JUST TRYING TO PROVE MY POINT ABOUT YOUR RANTS POSSESSING SOME LEVEL OF CHARM. 

TG: i dont get it 

TG: what about me undermining myself is charming?? 

CG: IT’S DORKY! WHY DO YOU THINK SO MANY GIRLS LIKE EGBERT, HUH? 

CG: BECAUSE HE’S SOME KIND OF HUNK? 

CG: FUCK NO! 

CG: HE’S A DORK! 

CG: WHICH MIGHT SOUND BAD, BUT 

CG: THE POINT IS DORKS ARE ADORABLE. 

TG: so what im hearing is 

TG: dorks are cute 

TG: or at least you think so 

TG: and you also think im a dork 

TG: meaning you think im cute? 

CG: WHAT KIND OF BULLSHIT CONCLUSION IS THAT? 

TG: simple math my friend 

TG: a=me b=dork c=cute 

TG: if a=b 

TG: and b=c 

TG: then a must also equal c right? 

CG: WOW. THAT WAS ALMOST INTELLIGENT. 

CG: TOO BAD YOUR CONCLUSION IS UTTER BULLSHIT. 

CG: AND BEFORE YOU SAY SOMETHING ELSE STUPID, I’M GOING TO GO AHEAD AND END THIS CONVERSATION. 

CG: GOOD LUCK.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering  turntechGodhead [TG] at 1:15

You kick a light pole in frustration. Dammit that hurt. You're all flustered, and you can’t even tell if it’s from anger or embarrassment. Guys are so fucking stupid-especially you. Why do you always do these things to yourself?


	4. Getting Warmer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh I'm so sorry this took so long,,,also less pesterlogs which just means more of my crappy writing,,,

It's ready right? No spelling mistakes, right? God that would be embarrassing. Is this even his door? Oh my god you don't know. You're going to have to knock.  
You stand there for a good five minutes, clenching the note in your fist. You gather your strength and raise your hand to knock. Before your knuckles even touch the door it's slapped away by a small hand.  
“Mayor? What was that for?” He sighs and takes your hand, pulling you towards a door across the hall. “Oh...this is the right door, isn't it?” He nods. “Dude what the fuck how do you know that.” He gives you a sly smile and pats the door. “Do you...know him?” He nods again. “And you didn't tell me! I-i can't believe this! Your treachery has wounded me,” You fall to your knees, dramatically clutching your chest. “I trusted you and called you friend and now you've betrayed me...sweet mayor, don't forget me...goodbye.” You make a choking noise and fall silent. Your head rests against the bottom of the door. The mayor feebly applauses your lack luster performance.  
You're about to stand up and bow for your adoring audience when the door opens, smacking you in the forehead. Some guy sticks his head out of the crack. He glowers down at you. He's wearing a striped scarf, hipster frames, pajamas, and a violet ca-who the fuck wears a cape to sleep?  
“Keep it dowwn wwill ya?” He has a strange accent. His voice feels like waves lapping at your ankles. Something about him seems vaguely familiar.  
Hold on one goddamn second. All that violet...the cape, the glasses. Only in legends have you heard of this sour, hipstery cryptid.  
“Oh my fucking god no way. Eridan Ampora, right?”  
He squints, looking slightly uncomfortable. “Yeah, wwhy? Wwho are you?”  
You pause. Should you tell him? Why wouldn't you? Wait. If this is your soulmate’s room...then he rooms with Eridan. How the hell does he know Eridan?  
“I'm just the coolest dude you'll ever meet.” You shoot him double pistols and make a weird “eyyyyyyy” sound.  
“Wwait I knoww wwho you are. You're that Strider guy, right?”  
Dammit your cover’s been blown. It's time to probe...heh...the enemy for info. You've got to find out how he knew that. There might be a leak in your security.  
“Woah there how'd you know that.”  
He rolls his eyes. “Oh gee I don't knoww maybe because you're wearin shades indoors like a total douchebag. You also kneww who I wwas. It's really not all that hard to put together.”  
“Well damn this is what I get for being a total legend, getting recognized all over the place.”  
He sneers. “Right. Wwhat the hell wwere you doing out here anywway?”  
“Just y’know hanging around with my bro here. Oh and I had a note for your roommate so yeah.”  
He points to the note on the door. “This?” He reads it quickly, the corner of his dark lips pulling into a smirk. It's making you uncomfortable. “You're invvitin him out on a picnic, huh? Howw cute. I guess that makes you K-” He stops talking. He’s looking at something behind you. You turn around slowly half-expecting to see your soulmate standing there, but it's just the mayor, holding a finger to his lips. He quickly signs something. Dammit why didn't you take him up on his offer to teach you sign language. You turn back to see Eridan nodding slowly, his smirk growing wider.  
“What the fuck is going on?”  
Eridan shrugs, trying his best to look innocent. “Nothin you need to knoww about.” He winks at the mayor and slams the door, preventing you from asking any more questions.  
“Yo what the fuck?” The mayor smiles and shrugs. “You're a sneaky little shit, you know that?” He just nods. “I've got to go pick up some shit at the store, you wanna come with?” He grabs your hand and smiles. When you grab the mayor’s hand you're met with silence, but you were expecting that. The mayor-like many other mute individuals, has no song. You think it's sad, but the mayor stays so positive about it-you really admire that about him. “Okay then, let's get going little guy.”  
The supermarket closest to your college is nothing special. It's just another location in a chain. The mayor skips around the store excitedly, pointing at different foods and objects he wants. He nearly throws a fit on the aisle with soft drinks when he spots a few boxes of tab. Next to the tab is every flavor of Faygo you've ever seen-if that wasn't strange enough they're all on sale for practically nothing. You guess that's one unique thing about this store.  
Somehow the Mayor convinces you to pick up the Tab along with some Cherry Coke-you're a little confused about why he wanted that, but his little pleading face is just impossible to resist. You nearly lose your shit when you see who's working one of the checkout aisles. It's the clown guy, and if you want to get out of here in a timely fashion you're totally going to have to go in his line. This is so stupid.  
When he sees you approaching his expression shifts from one of lazy indifference to the kind of expression you'd see on a horror movie antagonist. “Well well well looks like someone hasn't done their motherfucking job! Whoever was on trash duty missed a motherfucking spot.”  
“Ha ha how very funny and original. Why the fuck are you here? I thought you worked at Porrim's?"  
He shrugs. “What You never seen a brother with two jobs before?”  
“Y’know you don't really seem like the hard-working, two jobs type.”  
He scowls. “Well maybe I am, my employers seem to think I'm a good worker. The motherfucker here keeps Faygo on a perpetual sale just to keep my services.” And just like that he's already done with your groceries-no wonder they want to keep him so badly.  
“Well see you later...freak.”  
“Hopefully not, dickbag."  
You consider Gamzee a friend, but with your whole rivalry thing going on, you aren't really sure if he actually hates you or if he's just messing around like you. The mayor, who has been hiding behind your legs this whole time, suddenly takes off. He runs up to some guy in a wheelchair and leaps into his lap. The guy laughs, and Gamzee has become a statue next to you.  
“Hey mayor! How's college been treating you?” The guy asks. The mayor gives him a thumbs up, and climbs out of his lap.  
“Tavros? What the motherfuck are you doing here?” Gamzee sounds like he's struggling to sound angry. He's fighting back a smile.  
“Oh heh y’know just came to visit you at work. Your break is soon, right? I was thinking we could go eat somewhere!” Tavros nearly falls out of his chair. He hadn't noticed you until now. “W-woah who are you?”  
You extend a hand, intending to introduce yourself. Gamzee growls.  
“He was just leaving.” Gamzee grabs you underneath your armpits and carries you away. His song is super creepy, and it's not doing anything to make your feel better about this situation. You feel cold, spindly fingers wrapping around your ankles, trying to drag you away. You also feel a sensation on your back, like a thousand ants scuttling across your skin. Yeah you've got to get him to let go.  
“Hey c’mon!” You kick him in the shin He winces, dropping you in favor of holding his shin. “I can see I'm not wanted! I'll be taking my mayor and leaving!” You huff dramatically, trying to sound like a snobbish rich lady.  
“Good, and next time don't try to talk to my motherfucking boyfriend, got it?”  
“Oh.” You had no idea Gamzee had a boyfriend, or that he was even capable of having a relationship like that. You feel like you've learned way more than you ever wanted to know about clown boy.  
The mayor bounds toward you and starts pulling you toward the door. You look back to see Tavros and Gamzee holding hands and staring at each other lovingly. That is disgustingly adorable.

carcinoGenetisict [CG] began pestering  turntechGodhead [TG] at 1:15 

CG: HEY 

CG: DAVE 

CG: DAAAAAAAVE 

CG: EARTH TO STRIDER 

CG: GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS AND ANSWER ME DICKMUNCH! 

CG: GODDAMMIT 

carcinoGenetisict [CG] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 1:35

Well shit that was an hour ago. He probably won't even answer if you try to get in touch with him now. You wonder what he wanted from you anyway?

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering  carcinoGenetisict [CG] at 2:15

TG: yo sorry 

CG: FINALLY! 

TG: woah that was really fast 

TG: have 

TG: have you actually been sitting here waiting for me to respond 

CG: MAYBE? 

CG: I JUST HAD A QUESTION. 

TG: lay it on me man 

CG: OKAY SO I’M GOING TO GET A GIFT OF SOME SORT FOR MY SOULMATE, AND I’M NOT SURE WHAT TO GET? 

CG: I’VE THOUGHT ABOUT GETTING FLOWERS OR CHOCOLATE-SOMETHING CLICHÉ, BUT WHAT IF HE DOESN’T WANT EITHER OF THOSE THINGS? 

CG: WHAT IF HE THINKS CLICHÉS ARE OVERRATED OR DUMB? 

CG: SO WHAT I’M ASKING IS-IF YOU WERE TO RECEIVE A PRESENT FROM YOUR SOULMATE, WHAT WOULD YOU WANT IT TO BE? 

TG: oh man idk 

TG: cliches seem fine to me 

TG: i mean you cant really go wrong with chocolate 

TG: unless theyre allergic or something 

TG: that could end badly 

TG: also flowers are nice 

TG: like 

TG: flowers are not just for girls 

TG: maybe a guy wants some flowers every once in awhile yknow?? 

TG: but all that society shit is like 

TG: nooo youre a dude so you cant enjoy pretty things 

TG: its stupid 

TG: if i want to prance around with a flower crown like the goddamn queen of tumblr i will 

CG: WOW 

CG: OF ALL PEOPLE TO HAVE STRONG OPINIONS ON TOXIC MASCULINITY. 

CG: YOU’RE REALLY NOT AS MUCH OF AN ASSHOLE AS I ORIGINALLY THOUGHT. 

TG: awww a compliment from you is like 

TG: the highest honor 

TG: im touched karkat 

TG: you really do care 

CG: SHUT THE FUCK UP BEFORE I TAKE IT BACK. 

CG: AND THANKS FOR THE ADVICE. 

CG: I GUESS I WILL BE GETTING FLOWERS, QUESTION IS WHAT KIND? 

TG: i mean if youre going cliche you might as well go all out 

TG: im talking a bouquet of red roses man 

TG: if hes half as romantic as you are hell be begging you to take him right then and there 

CG: OH MY GOD. 

CG: I TAKE IT BACK YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE. 

TG: how could this happen to me 

TG: ive made my mistakes 

TG: ive got nowhere to run 

CG: DAVE 

CG: STOP 

TG: i cant 

TG: being a meme is a full time job 

CG: DAVE, YOU REDEFINE WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A MORON. 

TG: well excuse me but im pretty sure YOU came to ME for advice 

TG: whos the moron now huh??? 

CG: I’M 

CG: NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS SHIT FROM YOU. 

CG: LATER. 

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering  turntechGodhead [TG] at 2:40

So he just wanted advice about his soulmate? Why didn't he ask Nep or someone who was actually good at feelings stuff? Why ask you? You guess it doesn't really matter. It's whatever.  
You were so distracted by your thoughts, you let the mayor hop in the driver's seat, and you didn't notice your mistake until the whiplash snapped you out of your daze. “Mayor! I told you not to drive!” He pumps a fist in the air and mashes the gas pedal. “MAYORHOLYSHIT!” The car is swerving across both lanes-luckily this isn't a two-lane road, and several people are screaming profanities at you and the mayor. By the time you pull into the college, your knuckles are white from the iron grip you had on the bottom of your seat.  
“How the hell do you never get caught doing this?”  
The mayor shrugs. You want to be mad at the little guy for putting you through hell, but he looks so goddamn happy about it.  
“I hope that was fun, because I'm literally never letting you touch the steering wheel again.” The little fucker is smiling like it's his birthday and Christmas simultaneously. He really doesn't seem to care about what you're saying-he already got his wild ride. “Wow. We could have DIED, or well we could've just gotten in some serious shit, but neither happened so I guess it isn't that bad...but still.” Wow you are so great at reprimanding people. You really stand your ground, and get your point across.  
Together you and the mayor return to the dorm. At some point he started tapping and drumming on his watch and random objects you passed. After a while you joined in,rapping to the beat he was creating. You were so absorbed in this that you failed to notice your soulmates music was a little louder than usual. Until you ran right into him. Since you're taller, it didn't really hurt you, but his face is level with your chest.  
“Ow!” He’s clutching his nose, his eyes screwed shut from the pain. “I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE SOME PEOPLE LACK THE INTELLIGENCE TO WATCH WHERE THEY ARE WALKING! IT SEEMS LIKE COMMON SENSE, RIGHT? YET SOME ASSHOLE MANAGES TO RUN INTO A STATIONARY TARGET?”His cheeks are flushed from anger. A vein in his head is clearly visible, and quite frankly looks very concerning. He's so...angry. It's adorable?  
“Sorry man I didn't realize it was such a big deal.” Your voice causes a sudden shift in his demeanor. His eyes snap open, and his anger fades to embarrassment.  
“Oh-oh I'm sorry.”  
“What? You're sorry about that? That was one of the most amazing things I've ever seen! You're like a tiny, adorable ball of pure rage!”  
His flush returns. “You think I'm adorable?” He asks in a disbelieving tone.  
“Oh my god. You don't think you are? Man, have you looked in a mirror?”  
“Of course I have! All I see staring back is my gross baby face.”  
“What? Holy shit is your self-esteem seriously that low? Dude! You’re super adorable!”  
He’s fidgeting, blushing, and looks so unsure of himself. It's like he's never gotten a compliment before, and maybe he hasn't? You're going to have to fix that.  
“I...saw that note you left by the way, and I-I’d love to have a picnic...with you.”  
Oh fuck. You're happier about this than you thought you'd be.  
“Awesome.” You smile. He smiles back. After about of minute of awkwardly smiling in silence you both say your goodbyes and part ways.  
How is it possible for someone to be so adorable?

**Author's Note:**

> Dave's song:https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4-eKGVMWp4A  
> Karkat's song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZ5qQLA2NS0  
> Gamzee's song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3rOtFevwHJw


End file.
